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January 22
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I GOT MY LICENSE!!!!111
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October 22
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THE WORLD WILL NEVER TAKE MY HEART.
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| NO MORE. |
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September 29
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THERE WILL BE NO MORE FRIENDS ADDED. NONE. I DON'T CARE IF YOU'RE NEARLY AS AWESOME AS ME. I'M CUTTING IT OFF RIGHT HERE. Yeah, now continue reading my public posts. >>>>>>>>>>>
now accepting friends.
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| public entry time! |
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September 28
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- I've never used these bullets before. Hmm. Intriguing.
- I'm too freaking content about everything related to school right now......It's like...not right. I feel like I'm failing at something.
- It sucks when I'm really happy and there are people who aren't. Makes me feel guilty. But who knows//maybe I deserve it. The feeling happy part, I mean :P
- "Does intelligence/knowledge even matter? In the end?" ....... That's basically what Sonia said. & to be honest, I don't think it does. So yeah...what the hell are we doing then?
- It's pretty awesome when I'm in the mood to write and I can conveniently edit my paper...
- Lying makes me feel bad :(
- It's Wednesday? Thursday? Feels like a Friday.
- LJ sucks in that it has made me go into the habit of writing really shitty sentences and using basic vocabulary. Ugh, what can you do?
- I love seven.
- Correlation & causation. THANK YOU to all the classes that overlap.
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| goodbye, summer |
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September 4
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I have to be at school tomorrow & I don't think I'll be able to get myself together. Seriously. I am SO fucking sad. Last night I went to sleep at 7:30 and pretty much slept until 7 this morning. I went back and looked at the entry I wrote on the last day of school and it made me feel even worse. I mean, FUCK, I can still remember that day we were at Khan's perfectly. It doesn't feel like summer is over!
Ohmygawwwwwddddd. I can't explain it. This summer was amazing. & enough with the -I wish I had hung out with [insert people] more-. I have no regrets. The people at school who liked me as much as I liked them, we always managed to find time somewhere somehow. Or if we couldn't hang out, then at least a phone call once a week was do-able. & I truly am appreciative of the people who KNOW that I can't just drop everything for them or leave the house whenever I want. I know that at some times, I would randomly ask if certain people were free and if they wanted to hang out. But if they couldn't, I wouldn't be a bitch about it and never ask them to do anything ever again.
Looking back on this summer, I did do lots of things. & I'm not talking about only with Shawn. To those who are thinking that I "changed too much" or whateverthehell, I really didn't. But if you'd still like to make the argument that I did, then I suppose I could say that I changed for the better because I'm now happier. & with friendships, I believe that I did try. If you're too busy doing other things, then it's NOT MY FUCKING FAULT!
I'll admit that I'm usually not the one who constantly calls or asks people to hang out. With that said, it would be ridiculous for me to do that to somebody who doesn't bother to call me back because they're too busy calling everybody else. So yeah. Fuck that shit. If you find the prospect of superficial friendships to be appealing, then I wish you the best.
Me? All I want is what's real.
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July 29
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[mood|  annoyed]
[music| Disarmonia Mundi - A Taste of Collapse]
Oh yeah. BTW, DRUGS ARE FUCKING STUPID. SO DON'T DO THEM. I KNOW I DON'T GET THAT STATEMENT ACROSS ENOUGH. IF I HEAR ABOUT HOW YOU DO DRUGS, EVEN THOUGH I WON'T SAY IT TO YOUR FACE, I'LL SECRETLY THINK YOU SUCK. DICK. BECAUSE YOU DO. AHAHAHA. I HAVE NO TOLERANCE FOR THAT SHIT. & IF THAT MAKES ME A JUDGEMENTAL BITCH, THEN SO BE IT. BECAUSE I'D RATHER BE THAT THAN A DRUGGIE ANY DAY. & ALCOHOL IS POINTLESS. USING CHEMICALS TO ALTER YOUR STATE OF MIND IS WEAK. LOLOL THAT'S RIGHT, I SAID IT. & DAMN, I CAN PRETEND TO BE DRUNK FOR FREE! & APPARENTLY I'M REALLY GOOD AT IT TOO. Hahah that story is to come. I actually feel really bad though >< ! Oh well. He deserved it.
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July 27
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Can anybody say, "No Shit"? This is proof that the human race is becoming more and more stupid by the day.
An actual post to come. As for now, I must get acquainted with my bed.
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July 23
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I do believe old habits die hard.
With that said, I think it is unreasonable to expect someone to be able to all of a sudden just drop everything they have ever been & done and change themselves ("for the better"). To expect is to be disappointed. So don't. It will eventually go into place. & to get upset at somebody when they slip//well, it would make sense, but you also need to remember that he/she is the one who is making the effort, and in many cases, it's probably to please you. So give them a break. They will appreciate it, and in turn, try harder. Things are rarely as easy as they seem. But no situation is ever as bad as it COULD be.
That is all.
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June 25
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Straylight Run - The Perfect Ending
Taken in context, it's not a bad thing
But when you start to pick it apart, it gets so depressing
It's that sort of thing that makes you think too much
It's that sort of thing that makes you lose your objectivity
So if you made it
Just be glad that you did, and stay there
If you ever feel loved or needed
Remember that you're one of the lucky ones
& If it's over
Just remember what I told you
It was bound to happen
So just keep moving on
There's no perfect endings
You peel back the layers
Get down to the inside
But sometimes you lose sight
Of what it was you were trying to find
& It's that sort of thing that makes you think too much
It's that sort of thing that makes you lose your objectivity
...
& If it's over, just remember what I told you
It was bound to happen, so just
Keep moving on
There's no perfect endings
no perfect endings.
This song makes me feel like I should be crying.
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June 18
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This was stolen because I like it.
"At this stage in my life, there are few things that are clear; everything is a blur. There is no point in trying to find a deeper meaning while dealing with the immaturity of daily high school life. Listen to my advice. Do not over analyze situations or emotions. It is not worth your time to strategize and contemplate the actions of people who do not know what they truly want. These people represent the very concept of immaturity. Superficial desires and friendships distort the spectrum. Essentially any conclusions or assumptions you formed on that particular person can be immediately dismissed. Do not let the little things consume your mind. Keep those small, almost meaningless things in your mind for future reference, but do not attempt to draw any personal theories on situations from these minute things. Life is too short for conflict to arise over the small things. I would be very naive in saying that we should always give people the benefit of the doubt when it comes to these small things, but do not make a bigger deal about them than should be made. Live life to the fullest. Relax, Live, and Learn."
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June 18
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The following is a rhetorical question for the masses:
Isn't it awesome when somebody actually remembers when your birthday is?
I'll admit that I am lucky I was born with a good number memory, or maybe I just fucking pay attention. & Seriously, I'm pretty sure that the majority of people will agree that it feels good when people remember your birthday, and it doesn't feel as good when people forget. & what if sometimes I DO forget? At least I don't go "Whennnn is your birthday (again)?" to the person for like the 20th time. Because I am pretty sure NOBODY likes answering that question. You know what I do instead? I get creative. Like, stalker-creative. ;)
&, I don't know. I don't think I'm THAT picky about people. I would say that I'm generally pretty fucking accepting of whatever. But I think I am allowed ONE thing that I can be a bitch about. Okay? Because I make the effort to try and remember people's birthdays because I know how good it feels when people remember when mine is. & of course, it's not like I expect a stranger or someone I've known for a couple of months to know. But if I've known someone for a reasonable while...then yeah. You can expect me to be pretty pissed when they don't remember. Like, I think the reason why it's such a big deal to me...is because I'm not one of those people who holds birthday parties and expects people to give her presents and shit like that. I really don't want you to buy me anything. I just want 2 fucking words on my birthday. & seriously, if you forgot when it is, go check my fucking lj info or something. It says right there. NOT that fucking hard, and I wouldn't even have known you did it. Lol.
& Shut up. Today was NOT my birthday.
Jeez, I have had a weird day. I'm not like...fuming with hate or anything. But it just makes my head spin when somebody like Powers actually knows when my birthday is and people whom I expected would know, don't. Just stop disappointing me.
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| "...Asian car, Asian salad, Asian girl" |
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June 2
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Experience with McDonald's Asian Salad
So Shawn decided to be an asshole and ordered it. :P
We sat in the parking lot with his car occupying like six spots. After we took the salad out of the ridiculously large bag it was in, we discovered that there was only one fork. He had specifically asked for two, but the dumbass at the drivethru either did not hear, was stupid, or just wanted to piss us off. So we improvised. Him with the knife and me with the fork that seemed too sacred to be eaten with. We took off the cover of the salad and he ate a snowpea and made a remark about how it tasted funny. Then he continued to eat a mandarin orange and made a weird expression. So then I grabbed one with my fingers and it tasted gingery, a little sour, but overall, quite refreshing.
We put the almond pieces in and poured in the sesame ginger dressing. When all the dressing was on the salad, he made a comment about how he hoped I didn't mind all the dressing being used. Hmm...that would later come up again. Anyway, I'd say we *PWNED* the concept of teamwork when we were able to successfully mix the salad without dropping or splattering anything (hmm that reminds me. I broke a glass at work today). Well, whether it was in a good or bad way, I'd say we were pretty much in disbelief after the first taste.
To me, the flavor was something that I never even imagined could be in a salad. Seriously. I'm pretty sure I will never think the same of other salads ever again, and I won't ever want to eat them.
Here is a breakdown of each ingredient:
-chicken: "could be cut through like butter". I'm glad it didn't taste like rubber, but damn, it was a little TOO soft. It tasted fine though.
-lettuce: I'd say it ruled.
-edamame: they taste like shit, but it's an Asian thing so I suppose it was fitting that they be included.
-snow peas: meh
-red peppers: mmmmm
-carrots: these extremely thin pieces tasted like ginger. They were delicious.
-mandarin oranges: Shawn claims that they tasted way better when the dressing was not put on. But I think they taste good either way.
-almonds: adds some crunchiness.
While eating more and more of this salad, a strange taste began to develop in our mouth/throat. It was like...spicy. But not. It was so weird. Then Shawn claimed that he couldn't eat anymore, so it resulted in me eating basically everything except for the edamames. Then I decided to be adventurous and try drinking the dressing. It was pretty good but it burned a bit.
I came online and did a little research, and found out that the salad comes with an orange glaze. That's what the "gingery, sour, refreshing" taste was. That, in combination with a whole packet of Newman's dressing, was sort of overkill.
Overall, I still give this salad five out of five "Asian" stickers.
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| whoa |
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May 14
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[mood|  devious]
[music| Still Remains - White Walls]
Let's just say I'm in the process of getting a lot of music.
Here: everytime i try to fly, i fall. without my wings, i feel so small (Yes, that is a link.) & seriously, you will fucking like it. If you liked the original version, you'll probably like this ten times more. Gawd fucking damnit I'm like addicted.
More to come, of course.
Oh yeah. Prison Break finale = tomorrow. OHMYGODIWILLPROBABLYPISSMYPANTS.
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May 12
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OH MY GOD. LOOK AT WHAT TIME IT IS.
SO MUCH FOR "I DONT FUCKING CARE ABOUT MY PAPER."
I AM IN THE PROCESS OF RE-WRITING AND RE-ORGANIZING THE ENTIRE THING, & I'M ONLY LIKE HALFWAY DONE. I JUST PEED FOR LIKE 30 SECONDS BECAUSE OF THE ENERGY DRINK. & I AM DRINKING SOME MORE (of the energy drink) SO THAT I DON'T FALL ASLEEP ON THE KEYBOARD. SERIOUSLY...WHAT THE HELL. Btw, this energy drink called Shock Wave is really EFFING GOOD. I just randomly chose it. But yeah. Holy shit it tastes really citrus-y and I really really like it!!!!!
I can't fucking concentrate anymore. FUck. I am pulling an all nighter and I'm seriously considering walking to SA at like 5 in the morning so that I can get more caffeine so that I can survive the day. AHHHHHHHHHH. I hate myself for being such a procrastinator. This isn't even fucking funny anymore.
[edit] It is 4:45. I just finished. [/edit]
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May 9
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It's sad that any little thing can be big when it isn't compared to anything. & it's also sad that any little thing can totally set you off if you're already feeling like crap! AHhHhhhhhH! I just don't know. Everything seems trivial now. What really matters? I've been having an emotional week. There's nothing really to add to that. But like...you're upset about one thing and then something else comes along and it is SO much more...serious? & it just makes you go "Wow, I was such a dumbass for being upset over THAT." I guess...I don't really know what really matters. But I do know that some things matter more.
It's like comparing a papercut with a gunshot.
So, fuck it.
"Tell her, 'You say that I don't care about our friendship. But since you don't even want to talk to me and try to solve the problem...that shows that you don't care about our friendship either.'"
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March 27
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I have concluded that you're just jealous. Because we rule, & you? Not so much.
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March 24
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Coming soon to a theatre near you
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